‘Scumbag’ husband’s shock confession
AS ANOTHER month passed without a baby, the desperate wife became convinced she had failed her husband.
The anonymous woman raged against her Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), convinced the condition she suffered from was the only thing stopping their dreams of a family from coming true.
Utterly desperate, she spent three years trying fertility treatments.
It put her on an emotional rollercoaster of continually testing herself - hoping that she would eventually fall pregnant, and the test come up positive.
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But nothing worked - so finally she gave her husband the choice between IVF and divorce.
She didn't expect his response to completely destroy her.
"After three years of painful, invasive and expensive fertility treatment, I find out my husband had a vasectomy before we met," she recounted in a dramatic Reddit post.
"He let me endure 29 negative pregnancy tests and numerous hormone injections and he never thought to tell me."
Understandably, she was absolutely gutted that her husband had been lying to her the entire time.
"I'm hurt, to say the least," she wrote.
"Doctors kept suggesting semen analysis, but he refused.
"I supported his decision as I have PCOS, so I assumed that I was the problem."
But as the rage subsided, she decided to hear her husband out - she wanted to know why he had allowed the love of his life to spend years blaming herself.
It turned out he got the procedure while he was married to his ex-wife as he was worried she would trap him in the relationship with a baby.
"He also explained that he didn't tell me because he loved me and was worried I would leave," she said.
"So I've laid out the options: he gets it reversed, he agrees to me using donor sperm or we get a divorce.
"I love him. But I'm broken. And given his lies, I think we are better off not married. I could still get donor sperm and honestly, that might be for the best.'
Unusually, Reddit commenters were pretty united on this one - banding together to slam the husband for his decision.
"He is a certified f**king asshole," one mum bluntly stated.
"He let his wife go through all that, not to mention the money and pain that went into it, and didn't think to tell her he was shooting blanks?"
"This guy is straight up TRASH. Certified absolute garbage. How do you let someone you supposedly love go through all that????" another added.
"I mean there are red flags and then there's a one mile tall red f**king lighthouse with sirens and klaxons," another mum said.
"Throw this one back into the rocks, Honey. Not the sea, the rocks."
"Good lord. I thought I'd seen some trash, but she's married to a freaking landfill," one mum said.
"I really hope someone is supporting her emotionally because her other half here is such a drain I'm surprised she was even able to coherently type this up."
Particular scorn was directed at the husband's concern that his wife would leave him if she knew he had a vasectomy.
"No wife leaves their husband over a vasectomy he got before their relationship," one mum said.
"Especially if he's open and willing to compromise (donor sperm or reversal).
"He probably doesn't want kids and was too cowardly to tell her so.
"Who knows what else this scumbag is hiding?"
But if you thought the wife escaped criticism - then you'd be very wrong.
Many people were shocked that she hadn't immediately walked out the door, so the fact she was even thinking about staying seemed more than most people could fathom.
"The fact she is even considering staying with someone who went through such lengths to keep such a crucial fact hidden, makes me think they might be perfect for each other," one user said.
"Reversing the procedure or using a donor will not cover up his egregious fault," another said.
"You need to either get very far away from him or the two of you need to get into some pretty gruelling couples therapy. He did more damage and poses a bigger threat than you're giving him credit for.
"She shouldn't even consider having a child with him at this point. A baby isn't going to save her relationship," another added.
Commenters were particularly keen for the wife to leave because they were seriously concerned for her health and safety if she stayed married to him.
"After all those years of lies, painful treatments … not to mention the permanent damage screwing with hormones can have on a person," one woman said.
"Especially someone with PCOS who hoped to conceive. It's not about the baby at this point, it's about the deception and the complete lack of empathy for her physical and emotional pain.
"Leaving sounds like a good option. Those (fertility) shots come with a price to your body." "They can be dangerous they have side effects. He don't give a s**t about her," another added.
"I hope she leaves him. This is unbelievable. A lot of people I know with PCOS are already very stressed about their chances of being able to conceive and this asshole made it worse for his wife," one user said.
- Madeline Cox is a journalist currently working for Kidspot, Australia's leading parenting site
- This post originally appeared on kidspot.com.au and is reproduced with permission