What eased restrictions means for our new laid back ways
In breaking news, I've shaved my legs.
Six weeks of working from home, and 16 razor blades later, the job is done.
As anyone would, I quickly shared this exciting development with my friend, who is enjoying homeschooling immensely and happens to be in PR.
Within 10 minutes, she'd emailed a draft press release for my approval, sensing the massive media potential in my silky smooth calves.
"Ripples of excitement are expected around Queensland as Kylie Lang, Associate Editor of The Courier-Mail, reveals she has shaved her legs today for the first time since social isolation began," it read.
"The news comes just days after Ms Lang announced she had plucked her eyebrows after a five-week hiatus.
"When asked why she had taken such drastic action, given she had barely seen another living soul in more than a month, Ms Lang replied: 'I'm working from home now and the leg hair situation had become a work health and safety issue.
"'I tripped up the stairs earlier this week and am fairly sure it was the leg hair that caused the accident, which could have been quite serious if the fall hadn't been cushioned by my dog Chloe, who has been following me around 24/7, clearly anticipating a major incident. Dogs are intuitive like that."
"Setting an example to all, Ms Lang said she felt humbled to be able to show that, even in isolation, 'we don't need to let ourselves go completely'."
My friend is flummoxed that no media outlet has picked up on the story. Yet.
Could it be there are lots of others with stories like mine? Women with jobs that, pre-COVID-19, required them to venture outside the home and interact with countless people on a daily basis, yet who have brazenly abandoned razors and tweezers in lockdown?
We have to consider this is a distinct possibility.
Because I've heard reports of women, in their droves, ditching makeup. I know!
But really, who needs 31 lipsticks when you don't need to wear even one? The dog doesn't care if you're painting your lips Russian Red, Lady Danger or Please Me.
This reality hit home when decluttering my bathroom cupboards on a recent weekend of going nowhere.
Which weekend it was I can't be certain, or perhaps it was a Wednesday.
Never mind, but it came after tidying the pantry, wiping the louvres, polishing the mirrors, sugar-soaping every door and wall, and reclaiming the spare room so that if anyone ever was allowed to stay over again, then he or she could access a bed.
It's all been quite revolutionary, this isolation business.
And now that restrictions are being relaxed somewhat, I wonder what else we can jettison without much regret.
If there's one thing this crisis has taught me - and I expect many of you - is how much "stuff" I don't need.
I have existed with less (except for leg hair) and not suffered (thanks to my dog).
Truth be told, I've gained valuable insight. I don't mean to make light of the pandemic, but it's helped me prioritise what matters most and let go of the rest.
Like many other Australian workers, I have been required to take annual leave during this unprecedented crisis. I'm still writing, because I want to, and I've never been more grateful for my craft.
I'm also reconnecting with my home base, and thankful for that as well.
My garden looks terrific. A pest control guy came out for a routine property check last month and said, "Wow, I can see you're a green thumb!"
I nearly roared laughing. Until COVID-19, my garden could have been a film set in Jumanji, minus the attraction of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Lately, I've been able to give it some love.
The standout silver lining for me in this difficult period is the appreciation of time.
We've been told that coronavirus will change the way we Australians behave.
But for how long?
How quickly will we fall back into habits that didn't serve us well?
The way I see it, we now have a great opportunity to create new habits.
To be kinder to ourselves and others.
To spend our money more wisely … I repeat, 31 lipsticks?
And to use our time better, honing in on the things that count, besides freshly shaved legs of course.
Originally published as What eased restrictions means for our new laid back ways