IF you're looking for life, love and sex advice from a couple of glammed-up drag queens armed with a seemingly endless supply of filthy bon mots, look no further than Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova.
The pair both found fame during season seven of the award-winning reality show RuPaul's Drag Race - but it was after the show that they blossomed, Katya returning to ace an All-Stars spin-off of the series (Trixie's just about to do the same), and Trixie forging her own path as the world's most successful (read: only) drag folk musician.
It's together they've really found a rabid fanbase, acting as a sort of Tourette's-riddled Laverne and Shirley in their hilarious, absurd and frequently X-rated web series, UNHhhh.
Not content with just 10 minutes a week on YouTube, the pair are now taking over TV screens once more with a half-hour program, The Trixie and Katya Show, premiering this week on SBS Viceland.
We got the ladies on the line - and tried our best to get a word in edgeways ...
You ladies just wrapped your web series UNHhhh after 68 episodes. Did you always have a grand plan to parlay it into a TV show?
Katya: I was talking about suicide, but I guess TV works too.
Trixie: We had no idea. Maybe Katya had a plan, and maybe she's a brilliant business person -
T: - but when you watch our YouTube series, part of what makes it so appealing is you can tell the people you're watching are doing it for the fun of it. There's no teleprompter, there's no big pay cheque on the line, there's no gun to our head. We were just getting in drag and talking about things that interested us, and laughing.
Do you two share a genuine friendship, or is it more of an arranged marriage?
K: It's an arranged dysfunctional marriage that goes for two-year terms and has, like, a 12-year limit.
T: On the one hand I hate that she's sleeping with my father, on the other hand - I don't have to do it anymore.
K: [cackling endlessly] Print that! You'd better print that. I'd better hear your hands writing.
You ladies are obviously hilarious, but it's the editing on your show that gives it that real surreal quality ...
K: The editors are the wizards of the entire program. We're literally the disabled people who come up the ramp outside. We get to be the focal point of their expertise - we get that privilege. It's ALL about them.
T: We are Susan Boyle, and they are lights, camera and auto tune. We are Helen Keller, and they are the teacher.
K: [Adopting soothing Anne Bancroft voice] "Dildo, Helen."
T: We've gotten to the point now where we're good at predicting what the editors will want from a certain section, so we try to give them enough material that they can go to town. And go to town they do.
Trixie, you love to joke about Katya's age (Trixie is 28 to Katya's 35). Katya, what's the most annoying thing about Trixie's youth?
K: If it isn't her relentlessly dispiriting ageism I'd have to say it's her complete inability to give me 100 per cent of the attention that I deserve. She's a millennial; she sits on her phone Instagramming and Snapchatting and dick piccing.
T: You look at me and Katya, you tell me who's on social media more?
K: I'm trying to read my parchments, to connect with ancient languages! She likes to mention that I'm so old and I say that's fine, I'm a wise woman who's still alive and I deserve to be loved today.
T: The day we did the YouTube episode on ageing was the best, I could just feel her thinking, 'this better not go in the direction of victimising me' - and that's EXACTLY where it went.
K: I felt like the nerd in high school getting pummelled at dodge ball. But you know what though? That which does not kill us makes us want to kill ourselves. I'm seven years older than her, but it's not as simple as saying I'm seven years smarter than her because I wasted about that much time on hardcore drugs. Emotionally, I'm probably 25.
T: I'm a wizened forest child from the country, so I'm actually quite mature.
K: And I'm a big city crackhead!
As we speak, we're at the tail end of the marriage equality survey here in Australia - what's your advice for queer Aussies who've found the last few months a difficult ordeal?
K: I was just in Australia, and it was the hot issue. I'm glad we exist right now - people watch us to laugh, and people NEED to laugh. If you don't laugh, you're going to kill yourself. You could spend your whole day reading new information every two minutes about how the world sucks and how doomed we are. We're clowns, and I'm very grateful to provide that service.
T: Getting in drag itself is inherently political. I think it's important to give people miniature vacations from reality, so they have a bit of renewed energy to face it all. Yes, we're in a time where people get to decide the rights of others via the mail - but we're also in a time where you can watch a television comedy show hosted by two cross dressers. There's push and pull.
Trixie, can I also take this opportunity to pre-emptively congratulate you on winning RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars 3.
T: Do you know something I don't know? You're going to jinx it, you f**king asshole!
Were you nervous about agreeing to compete on Drag Race again?
K: She sucked on her first season so she had absolutely nothing to lose.
T: My Drag Race track record is terrible - I basically only won the reading challenge, and got kicked off twice. SO on the one hand, I could only improve. But on the other hand, with my success outside of Drag Race, I think 'What if I go in there and get scared again? What if I lose my YouTube series because people think I suck?' For me, I thought about it both ways.
Look, I'll tell you the real reason: It was money, power and a lifetime supply of Anastasia of Beverly Hills cosmetics.
Trixie and Katya premieres on SBS Viceland tomorrow at 9.30pm.
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