"YOU'RE doubting yourself, and it's tough mentally, because you're knocking on the door but you're not there."
Melbourne Storm forward Felise Kaufusi holds no grudges towards the North Queensland Cowboys, but come Sunday he will be aiming to inflict grand final pain on the club where he spent one season of first grade but failed to play a single NRL game.
His time at North Queensland goes back further than that, however, having played under-20s for the Cowboys between 2010 and 2012.
In 2011 he played alongside current Cowboys stars Michael Morgan, Jason Taumalolo and Kyle Feldt in the now infamous 2011 NYC grand final, which
"I've still got plenty of good friends there," Kaufusi said.
"Playing under-20s with that team was a special part of my life and it's great to see some of those boys kick on.
"I guess it will be a bit of funny one to be playing against those boys in an NRL grand final.
"I guess that's the way life goes sometimes."
Kaufusi's brother Patrick will join him at the Storm next year, but for now the siblings will be club rivalries as Patrick sees out the end of his current Cowboys contract.
His eldest brother Antonio, now retired, played 151 NRL games for the Storm, Cowboys, Knights and Bulldogs along with three seasons in the Super League.
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