I HAVE been invited to the wedding of the decade. Not to Westminster Abbey, or the royal reception at Buckingham Palace and certainly not to the exclusive after-party.
No, I’m one of 60 million people who live in the United Kingdom, who the prime minister has invited to honour the occasion. David Cameron has called Friday, April 29, a public holiday and decreed it a day for celebration in the streets.
So as my neighbours hang up the Union Jack bunting and pour tea into commemorative china cups, I can’t help but compare these nuptials to those I’ve shared with friends at home.
Kate and Will are expected to pull a crowd of one million spectators to watch them recite their vows. Dozens have camped at Westminster for days, including Doug and Kerri from Coolum. Keep your eye out for their Aussie flag when the spectacle is beamed across miles and time zones.
But at home, I’ve watched a couple wed with a fig tree as their witness and I know they wouldn’t swap that for this for a second.
I’m sure the choir at the Abbey can hold a fair tune but I don’t know they’ll beat the sound of bagpipes on Double Island Point, after two best friends said “I do”.
In a fairytale wedding at Buderim, I carried a pet shih-tzu down the aisle.
I doubt Pippa Middleton will be allowed near the corgis.
And even during what’s tipped to be Britain’s hottest April on record, the forecast is for rain. It is England after all.
But it’s a country where a clever, pretty girl can choose a university wisely, and find herself friends with a Prince.
She can catch his eye with a stroll down the catwalk in not much more than her knickers, and then live with him before they are married.
She can invite her old flame and her naughty uncle to the wedding, and spend hours mulling over the after-party playlist.
Maybe Kate and her Prince William aren’t so removed from the rest of the world who’ve taken the same plunge into matrimony.
They might have the international media parked outside the church.
They might have tea towels, plates, and even condoms, made in their honour.
A whole country’s counting on the day to turn on one grand shebang.
But for the bride and groom, I hope the party remains a sideshow they can forget.
If only for a minute, it would be nice if Will and Kate can say “I do”, and only see each other.
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