Sex workers have blunt message for Aussie women
AUSTRALIAN sex workers have sent a message to women as they reveal married men are spending huge sums of money on them for "girlfriend experiences" or "companionship bookings".
One woman, who goes under the pseudonym Mrs Robinson, told news.com.au she feels like a "marriage counsellor" and that Australian women are failing to understand the needs of their partners as more and more men are driven to online apps to find intimacy.
"I do see a lot of married men and they're not getting that intimacy at home, at all," Mrs Robinson told news.com.au.
"Men are looking to be understood and be heard. They're looking for that bit of love that they're obviously missing. I could open up a school to teach women how to be intimate because there are so many out there that are not giving intimacy to their husbands."
The 58-year-old woman said that 90 per cent of her clients, ranging in age from 20-45, pay $350 for half an hour to engage in a heightened degree of emotional intimacy.
In some cases, they engage in reciprocal sexual pleasure (girlfriend experiences), but in other cases, they won't have sex at all (companionship experiences).
"There's definitely more demand for it. I can't tell you the number of times a client and I haven't had sex. We may have just sit there and talk, we may have dinner. There's so many times that you will not have sex. Sometimes there will be a run of it when I think ... 'wow'.
"It's not this wild, crazy, hang-from-the-chandeliers porn star experience they want. They just want to be with a girlfriend for an hour. Cuddling, being together, talking, having that intimacy with somebody. I've got clients in their 20s who want that. It's pretty amazing. I'm still in shock over how many young guys are into me. It's bizarre."
She said the rise of dating apps, specifically an app designed to connect sex workers with clients, Rendevu, are revolutionising the sex work industry as more and more men look for connections outside of their relationship, online and off. The platform helps sex workers and users organise availability, pricing, location and type of services.
"It's certainly helped to put my name out there," Mrs Robinson told news.com.au of the online evolution of the sex industry.
"It's like Uber escorts on demand. When I'm available I would log in to the app and turn my status on and then people who are looking can see that I'm available at that time and book me."
Mrs Robinson said her clients, who are mostly businessmen, seek her out because their partner has lost connection with their emotional needs.
"A lot of guys just want to share things they may not be able to share with their wife about personal stuff because their lives are too busy at home with the kids and everything."
She said that most of her companionship experiences involve "cuddling" and "talking" and conversation can stretch from politics to the world to even their own relationship.
"Ninety per cent of married or partnered men will talk about their relationship," she said.
"The other ten per cent will feel a bit guilty so they don't want to talk about their family or wife at all. But it's always respectful.
"I don't feel guilty but I usually give them advice on how they can make their marriage better.
"I have a guy who comes to me, then he got a girlfriend and said, 'I better not see you anymore', but then he decided he needed to see me and he still comes to see me now, even though he has a girlfriend.
"I talked to him about the whole girlfriend thing and I'm so happy for him, I'm so happy that he has a girlfriend and that it may lead to marriage. But he just loves to come and see me and talk to me and enjoy time with me."
SEX AGENT PROMISES 'FIVE STAR SERVICE'
Mila Jovi lives a secret life, for the most part. She's been in the adult business for three decades but now calls herself an "agent" - someone who spots talent and shows them the ropes. These days she runs Sydney-based escort agency, Honeychile Ryder.
"I take people who have never been in the industry before. I introduce them into the industry. I manage them, create their profiles, do all their social media, and then send them on their way as independent escorts."
Jovi looks after five female escorts and three male escorts personally. She works with independent sex workers to fix their image from a one-star service, to a five-star service.
She says finding the right women is not an easy task, but online services are improving the way sex workers engage with clients.
She says she can turn plain Jane's into working women - but not everyone has the right touch.
"It's good if they have never done anything in the industry at all, then I can train them and teach them exactly what they need to do," she told news.com.au in Sydney.
"If they've got a really good personality and they're smart, it makes all the difference. If they can sit at a five star restaurant and have a conversation with a gentleman, they're fine. Some people can't do that, they're too young and silly. They have to have emotional maturity."
But even in her line of work, Ms Jovi says she is seeing a an evolution towards clients' needs for an emotional connection and online apps.
"The sexual part is a very small part. I've seen a rise in the dinner date and the three hour bookings and the overnight bookings. It's all about building report and connection and chemistry."
"It takes a while for guys to open up and talk. Men don't talk about deep issues with each other, they need someone to talk to. They don't talk to their wives about it, so they talk to the escort.
"They've had some kind of disconnect, for someone to open up to an escort you must think, what happened to your marriage? What kind of marriage do you have? Women have so many different issues they have to deal with, and children can be a big reason for a disconnect."
Yet she assured, "it doesn't mean they've lost interest in their partner, they still want their loving relationship at home".
She said women need to "communicate with their partners and don't let things ride, get deep with your issues. Don't go to sleep on the argument."
And last, but not least: "Don't hold off on the sex. Always have sex. Learn to enjoy it."