HATS OFF: Eggheads in universities across Australia are throwing their weird flat black hats in the air for joy
HATS OFF: Eggheads in universities across Australia are throwing their weird flat black hats in the air for joy Contributed

Research reveals the people's foes

EGGHEADS in universities across Australia are throwing their weird flat black hats in the air for joy at the news from Education Minister Dan Tehan that the Feds are going to get more involved in telling academics whether their research is in the national interest or not.

In other words, are there are any any dollars to be made from whatever it is that happens in universities?

University Poindexters secretly know the only thing their research findings are good for is stopping Aussies having a go because as ScoMo says: "If we get up and go then we'll all get a go at going to have a go at getting going having go's...or something.”

That's some rolled gold "I've graduated from the university of life” wisdom right there. For free.

I mean look at climate change research, all that did was de-incentivise some of our richest little Aussie battlers from digging stuff up and selling it.

Research into colonialism? All that did was cause land rights and a boom in black armband sales. Neither are money spinners.

And gender studies research? Forget about it, all that did was cause lesbians - zero dollars there as well.

The government has got to de-rail the university research gravy train and put a halt to Phd students going on Porche buying sprees and research professors buying teams in the English Premiere League.

And its refreshing to see the National Interest Test being applied in other areas as well.

It's far more in the national interest to plough half a billion into building an underground bunker in the War Memorial in Canberra than anything else I can think of. Top marks also for getting in the big sponsorship bucks from weapons manufacturers- talk about synergising the military industrial circle of life. Ka-ching!

I mean that half a billion might have gotten piddled away on support and rehabilitation for our vets. Worse still it could have been flushed down the toilet on foreign aid supposedly to strengthen international relations and prevent global conflict. As if!

Where did they come up with that idea? You guessed it. Academic research - the real enemy of the people.


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