I WAS sitting at home eating a piece of chocolate cake, the most amazing piece of chocolate cake you have ever seen, truly remarkable chocolate cake, the chockiest chocolate cake there ever was in the history of cakes that are chocolate when I decided to fire bomb my neighbours driveway while they were away.
Lucky the wife was there to remind me I had in fact forgotten to flea bomb our neighbour's basement while they were away.
Admittedly this was an easy mistake to make but it did make me feel for the Trumpster who got distracted by the choccie cake he was sharing with the Chinese President Xi Jinping and forgot whether he had bombed Iraq or Syria.
Again, this was an easy mistake to make whilst in the thrall of a super tasty chocolate cake.
Once I had safely decanted the unleaded from the sherry bottles I got to thinking about all the other big oversights that have drifted our way this week, like so many wheelie bins floating along the flooded streets of South Golden Beach, and how many of these mistakes could be blamed on chocolate.
I bought all my skills as a crack investigative journalist together with my "real world experience" as an avid consumer of baked goods to make the chocolate connection and immediately the delicious chocolatey chip pieces started falling into place.
Surely the Minister for Justice Michael Keenan must have been tucking in early to his Cadbury Easter Eggs (with that glass and a half of full cream halal as Pauline reminded us) when he forgot that we had a flood here in the Byron Shire as well and it may be a good idea to grant Category C funding to allow affected Byron residents to get on with their lives and rebuild their businesses.
And over at Bluesfest there must have been a few thousand people high on chocolate filled doughnuts because vast swathes of the crowd forgot they were at a music festival with actual live bands playing their hearts out on stage and thought they were still in their lounge rooms watch television on the big screen while sitting in a comfy chair.
Sadly here in Byron Shire chocolate has tightened it grips because only around 60 percent of 5 year olds are fully vaccinated, with about 40% of cocoa addicted parents here forgetting about things like whooping cough and polio.
I'm old enough to have attended primary school with children wearing leg callipers so I find it very hard to forget the importance of vaccinating children against preventable diseases.
So my message, in so far as anything I write has a message, is lay off the choccies and get set for some serious remembering next Tuesday on ANZAC day when we honour all the soldiers who have served us.
And try and remember it's about remembering the service of others, not glorifying war, nor is it about revelling in what we think is our awesome Aussiness. Its about honouring all those men and women who went and did what they believed was their duty.
Because if we have a clear eyed remembrance of that sacrifice it will help us to avoid blundering into another war.
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