OPINION: Real epidemic of being sick of waiting for doc

"I'M SORRY Mr Bray," said the receptionist. "The earliest appointment the doctor has is for next Friday. Shall I book you in?"

"Next Friday!" I cried. "But I won't be sick next Friday … hopefully."

She'd sighed, "Again, I'm sorry, but that's the only appointment available, do you want it, because there are people waiting?"

People waiting? Honestly, who waits a week for a doctors' appointment?

After calling three more surgeries, I discovered there are quite a lot of people waiting and a week's wait for an appointment is very reasonable nowadays.

Unfortunately, trust is also in short supply these days, as my workplace requires a doctor's certificate to confirm that my absence was actually illness, and not fishing, related.

Ironically, a relaxing day on the water would probably have been more therapeutic than a stressful day spent trying to get a doctor's appointment.

Optimistically, I fronted at a couple of bulk billing medical centres, only to find that they were overflowing with sick people.

At this point I started wondering if we were in the grip of some unnamed epidemic.

I toyed with visiting the Hospital Emergency Department, but that's only an option for people who are flopping through Death's Door, and they take a real dim view of treating folk who are merely loitering by Death's Letterbox.

Back home, I muttered, "Physician, heal thyself!" and consulted Dr Google.

The Electronic Doc advised me to rest up, but was unable to issue a medical certificate.

Eventually I decided it would be easier to go back to work sick as a dog and infect everyone else; that would certainly prove beyond all doubt that I was genuinely ill. And, if any of my colleagues get crook, then one of them can have my doctor's appointment next Friday, for a reasonable fee.

Greg Bray blogs at Find him on Facebook: Greg Bray - Writer.

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