Injecting reality back into parliament: The 457 visa party
I'VE seen opportunities created by governments on the left, middle or right. But the bumbling about the on-off backpacker tax and the 457 visas has stifled far too many opportunities. It's had a massive negative impact on the economy of rural and regional areas.
But one good thing came out of it and I decided to put it into action across the whole nation. And the time was right - we saw the PUP being put down humanely and that left a political vacuum. Or it took away a political vacuum. Whatever.
I decided to start a new political party, the 457 Party, and I think it has already achieved its aim of rejuvenating our political system. I'm no millionaire and I'm not full of crazy anti-vax, anti-immigration anti-everything else ideas, so it looked like it had no chance.
But its core was a good idea, and as soon as I announced my plan I was inundated with bids from television stations wanting to buy it. So I sold the idea because that would eliminate the need for the party.
You see, the idea offers the one thing our present system doesn't. The one thing all those ratbag and splinter parties have exploited and continue to exploit.
The electorate is fed up. Fed up with fakes. Not just the fake news that Trump and Hanson cry every time someone disagrees with them. No, we're fed up with fake representatives. The pollies can't get their snouts out of that deep and fulfilling trough of fake expenses.
The idea for my show and the political party was sparked when Malcolm said no 457 visa holder should fill a job that could and should be filled by an Australian.
And we don't seem to get any Australian filling the top job properly. Malcolm isn't doing it but he looks good while not doing it.
Tony didn't do it but he boosted Speedos or sank them, depending on your political and sartorial taste.
Julia got no chance because of the constant undermining.
Kevin? Well the less said about his prime ministership, the better.
Once the Liberal Party heard my idea had been bought and would be on TV, it did the patriotic thing and called for nominations for the top job. And that embarrassed the Labor Party into following suit.
Pretty impressive, really. How can you embarrass the Labor Party? They've done such a good job of it themselves, I thought they were immune.
But, it's a turnaround. Big and little parties have been co-operating and working out clear rules with the judges.
To avoid all that messy election stuff and having to wait days and days for a result, the prime ministership will now be decided on a reality TV show.
And so fairly soon we should have a 457 visa worker as our prime minister.
Which will it be? That smart Nigerian refugee who set up her own business on arrival?
Maybe the Syrian lad aged 19 on arrival who is now worth as much as Clive Palmer in money terms.
Or maybe it will be one of the others? It's bound to be a tight race.
The show's called Electoral Reality and it's coming to your screens soon. And it should be more enjoyable than the usual election.