Can the wedding dance ban work?
YOU may kiss the bride… but not dance.
That was the message from Queensland authorities this week when they decided to act as those daggy teachers did, who went around Catholic school dances with a ruler reminding couples to leave room for God.
Okay, it wasn't exactly like that, but it was pretty silly nonetheless.
Amid the excitement of this week's relaxation of COVID restrictions that will finally allow us all to get a little more of a life, the restaurant and catering industry have been trying to negotiate the return of the wedding reception.
But there's been a sticking point on the dance floor.
Queensland Health first ruled there was to be absolutely no dancing due to the risk of COVID spread, leading to some pretty heated discussions around the double standard of newlyweds sharing a honeymoon suite, but not a dance.
Health Minister Steven Miles then swung in with a bit of common sense that at least now allows the happy couple and their parents to hit their groove.
But there's still worry around what's going to happen if the rest of the bridal party get happy feet.
Unlike in NSW, they're chair bound. Are they allowed to dance in their chairs? Is slight swaying while standing classed as dancing? It's not known.
Business operators worry what will happen if there's a mass break out of boogie. Will they operate as the dance police? Will they be fined? Will the bride and groom be fined?
It's all pretty murky right now, as is whether the wedding industry will be able to operate on these strict rules or whether couples will just cancel en masse, loathe to ruin their big day with a straight-laced, sit-down dinner only.
Or will people hop over the border to Byron Bay where they can recruit 15 bridesmaids and groomsmen for the official dance squad, with the rules there technically allowing all members of the bridal party to dance?
There's even fears people will just not book event spaces (in a major economic blow), instead opting for a house party of 100 - allowed from midday today - and just crank the tunes away from the prying eyes of Queensland Health.
Despite Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk being mocked this week on social media over her suggestion people "listen to the music" in a seated position at reopening nightclubs, who are also under a dance ban, there are legitimate reasons for it.
An uber-big wedding in India recently turned to tragedy when the COVID-infected groom turned up with a spiking temperature, passed on the virus to 100 guests and then died two days later.
It's a scenario that worries authorities here, especially after an incident earlier in the pandemic when a woman tested for COVID-19 flew to Hamilton Island with the virus but was luckily identified and barred from the wedding she was planning to attend before it was too late.
So with life subdued for a while longer at least, you'll just have to be content to tap your feet.
Originally published as How will Qld's wedding dance ban work?