A sex-ed pamphlet titled '101 Things to Do Instead of Doing it' suggests Christian College students bake cakes instead of having sex.
Packet-cake sales have leapt as teens rush out to put a bun in their oven.
Sales of pregnancy tests and loose-fitting jumpers have also skyrocketed.
The program ran into trouble when key sponsor Nike included their logo 'Just do it'.
A spokesman for the organisation responsible, Straight Talk Australia, revealed that they'd never actually seen a real teenager, but were confident it would work.
"At least when it doesn't work they'll have the bible to keep them feeling guilty."
Earlier attempts to make abstinence-only education seem 'sexy' for teens backfired horribly.
Microsoft has been forced to change their Xbox One policy after the biggest tantrum thrown in Internet history.
Gamers forced the company to remove proposed software locks that would prevent game trading and offline play.
PR firms are aiming to mimic Xbox fans' successful use of racial slurs and hissy fits in future campaigns.
A Cairns man has used employment data to validate his belief that men are better than women.
"It's here in black and white, more men work long hours than women," he said.
The third-grade graduate believes 'Juliar' is evil and that the world is flat.
Minister for Energy Mark McArdle continues to claim that renewables are causing power bills to rise.
Energex figures, however, show that infrastucture, not solar rebates, is the main price driver.
Mr McArdle denied those figures, saying "You're on of those extremist greenies aren't ya?"
A popular coffee van in Caloundra has been told to close but not told why.
Several businesses have now come forward after the Sunshine Coast Council gave their business permits to newcomers.
The council has released new business permit forms that now come with an attached brown paper bag.
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