EDITORIAL: Something to worry on besides all-out nuclear destruction
ONCE again we cast our weary eyes out over the worry-scape and wonder which nameless fear will take shape and wipe us from existence.
This week it's the threat of nuclear Armageddon on the Korean Peninsula.
But there are other things to worry about and as a public service I will point out a few.
One of the most chilling realisations for the whole of the civilised world is that somewhere in the bunkers below the White House there is a barber who intentionally does that to Donald Trump's head, and equally, somewhere in Pyongyang, there is a barber who, well ... do I really have to spell it out for you?
In Australia we are fortunate to live in a country with a political class that sports some of the most reassuringly dull hairstyles in the world.
I believe our pollies may cut each other's hair - or their mothers are alive and still doing it. All except Mathias Cormann, whose hair is cut by a fencing contractor.
This brings us to the second most terrifying thing - the budget that SCOMO and MATCO will be handing down next week.
Those of us whose assets are not sunning themselves on a beach in the Caribbean or who neglected to negatively gear their children at birth are once again in the cross hairs.
I am fearfully looking forward to learning how many years beyond my own death I will have to work to pay for my retirement.
But the good news is that our children will be able to start paying off their HECS debt in primary school.
Next on my terror 'not to watch list' are cooking shows. Yet another one has been set to simmer in the cracked crock pot that is commercial free-to-air television.
These shows are frankly puzzling as there is so very little cooking that happens.
Most of the time is spent watching the contestants glower at each or waiting for the hosts to speak, as in: "Delores, this prawn cocktail is ... (music swells) ... (anxious looks) ... (bead of sweat rolls down Delores' temple) ... exquisite. Daniel you are banished and will be flung from our news chopper over the open sea.”
Finally, paid parking will be tightening its relentless grip on Bangalow. But given there are more privately owned four-wheel drives from Queensland circling the block trying to park in Bangalow on any given weekend than there are civilian cars in Pyongyang, this may not be such a bad thing.
Just don't let SCOMO or MATCO find out about our residents' parking exemption or they'll whack it on your kid's HECS bill.