EDITORIAL: Scattered rivers of fire with a chance of localised bullets
AS WE stride bravely but counter-intuitively backwards into our coal-fired future our eyes turn fearfully towards the sky and we wonder, as a nation and a species, "How frickin' freaky is the weather lately?”
With three huge hurricanes menacing the Caribbean and catastrophic flooding in Texas, India and Bangladesh, together with a month's worth of suspiciously warm and dry weather locally in the lead-up to spring, the usual weather rules no longer apply.
So as the government led by Malcolm Turnbull and the opposition led by Tony Abbott prepare to double-down on coal, prepare for the weather forecasts to start sounding like something out of the book of Revelation.
We'll flick on the ABC to see Graham Creed dressed in a Hessian sack with his hands outstretched to the sky, intoning, "Tomorrow will see scattered rivers of fire with a 50% chance of localised rain of bullets from American gun owners firing towards low-pressure systems in the hope of stopping hurricanes before a swarm of bats flying upside-down eases to late morning locust plagues clearing around 3pm, when the sun will appear to set ... twice.”
Let's hope our newly coal-fired energy is cheap as chips because we'll use a whole lot more of it keeping the lights on and the air-con cranked up as the sky darkens and air becomes unbreathable.
But I'm sure once our new taxpayer-subsidised coal-fired clunkers crank up, electricity prices will plummet.
That's how the free market works, isn't it?