HILARIOUS: It's costing Australian taxpayers more than $120 million to have these jokers NOT vote on marriage equality in parliament.
HILARIOUS: It's costing Australian taxpayers more than $120 million to have these jokers NOT vote on marriage equality in parliament. Christian Morrow

EDITORIAL: Just do the job we pay you for

THIS week's editorial comes to you via secure line from deep within the re-enforced concrete bowels of the Byron Shire News bunker as we huddle here waiting for the world leader with the second most ridiculous haircut to lock and load his flying fists of fury (or some such) at the man with first most ridiculous haircut.

I am just waiting for news that Rex Tillerson is being replaced by Steven Seagal to come through on the hot line from Mar-a-Lago.

But here in Australia everything is coming up rainbows for marriage equality.

In the history of doomed schemes the $120 million postal survey regarding marriage equality is probably the least foolproof plan ever devised. But it has been has been wedged into place to guarantee marriage equality doesn't happen - even though most of us wish it would.

Instead of this expensive non-binding-whatever-the- hell-it-is, I propose that we look at less expensive ways of taking the nations pulse on this issue.

Voting by carrier pigeon could be one less expensive and more reliable way to vote in the the survey - which is being administered by the same bunch who almost didn't bring you last year's census.

In addition to carrier pigeons we could also vote via the drive through intercom at everyone's favourite clown-themed hamburger restaurant simply by specifying our preference as one of the toppings on our burger, as in.

"Twoallbeefpattiesspecial saucelettucecheesemarriage equalitypicklesonionsona sesameseedbun ploise.”

The vacant eyed teen on the kitchen assembly line would duly communicate your preference to Malcolm.

Perhaps putting out all three bins on the Wednesday night, effectively forming a kind of red, yellow and green semi-rainbow is the way to go.

The bloke driving the garbo truck will know what you mean and let Malcolm know.

It really doesn't matter how we make our intentions known to Malcolm because the hard heads inside his party - whose support he relies on to stay PM - have already pledged to ignore the result if it doesn't go their way.

Or they could just do the job we pay them for and vote on it in parliament. Crazy, I know.


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