EDITORIAL: Emojis to match our many moods
GIVEN the sickening frequency of gun massacres happening in the US, it's surprising Facebook and Instagram haven't come up with a Thoughts and Prayers emoji.
The world is crying out for an emoji that matches the impotency and mendacity of the response we routinely get from the US Government and their friends in the armaments industries.
Perhaps a little picture of Donald Trump kneeling with clasped hands while a little thought bubble shows us he is actually thinking about groping women... or an M15 assault rifle.
We do need to send thoughts and prayers to Malcolm for so spectacularly missing the point of Barnabygate with his ham-fisted Bonking Ban last week.
We also need a Bonking Ban emoji or at least some signage for in and around Parliament House. Perhaps a picture of a beetroot with a cross through it or signs that read "no one bonks around here any more”.
On the bright side, sales of high powered telephoto lenses for cameras are sure to sky rocket in the wake of the Bonking Ban in the same way sales of high powered assault rifles increase in the wake of every new American school shooting.
With sex between ministers and staffers now verboten, any longing looks or inadvertent contact between colleague as they pass in the corridor will be scrutinised through a lense.
UK tabloid style trash trawling and phone hacking will soon be de rigueur.
The point Malcolm missed was Barnaby's breathtaking hypocrisy.
At the same time as he (and other conservatives) were putting the LGBTI community through the wringer with an expensive and unnecessary marriage equality plebiscite (by spruiking the sanctity of so- called 'traditional marriage') Joyce was in fact carrying on an extra-marital affair with his press secretary.
I'm surprised we haven't heard from those in parliament who campaigned so long and hard for marriage equality condemning Joyce.
Australians who voted for marriage equality could also be forgiven for sharing a wry smile as they watch Barnaby squirm this week.
Perhaps we need a schadenfreude emoji.