EDITORIAL: An idea even bigger than this headline
THERE are some ideas so big they cannot be contained by something as pathetically small as a newspaper editorial.
Ideas so exciting they seem like a dream mere words cannot communicate. An idea that needs a whole new internet all to itself.
Just such an idea has recently streaked across the firmament and I am beyond shocked that we are wasting our time talking about piddly little things like droughts, lava flows and fires, coal-fired climate collapse, dead koalas, banking and insurance malfeasance, institutional child abuse and state- sanctioned racism, gun violence and dare I say it ... potholes.
Perhaps this idea is just so big and disruptive we are scared to face it for fear that all other human endeavour will seem as nothing, of no consequence and void of meaning.
Strap yourself in fellow dreamers and get ready to wrap your mind around some seriously next-level shit.
SPACE FORCE ... the weaponisation of space, an idea so exciting no one (not even Donald Trump) can explain it.
Your life is now divided into two eras. The loser era when you didn't know about Space Force and the era where you are psyched about Space Force and totally a winner.
Egghead scientists (as usual) are warning there may be some problems with having a Space Force, like you can't burn coal or gasoline up there, or fire a gun and you'll freeze, and there is no air to breathe or make our flags flutter or aerodynamics work so our X-Wing fighters won't swoop and dodge like in Star Wars.
But anyone who has seen X-Men, Iron Man or any of the man-themed movie franchises, will know it just takes a plucky billionaire to solve these problems in a hilarious and totally relateable way and we'll boldly be going to infinity and beyond.
We have no time for quibbling, space Armageddon is nearly upon us and I'm-a-geddon on with it. (Did you see that? That is exactly the kind of Space Force-inspired motivational humour I'm going to be dropping into BSN from now until blast off.)
I can now reveal that we shall henceforth be known as the Byron Space News.