‘Double standards’: Abbie slams Bachelorette
ABBIE Chatfield has unleashed on Bachelorette fans following Wednesday night's episode, citing a "double standard" in the way viewers react to men and women.
Posting to the Shameless Podcast Facebook group, the runner-up from Matt Agnew's season of The Bachelor pointed out that she was "villainised" when she took Matt aside during a cocktail party and made it clear she "wasn't here to make friends", whereas when Ryan did the same with Angie, he was labelled a "gentleman".
"HMMMMM interesting that when I merely took Matt away for a chat and said "I'm not here to make friends" not even after a single date and not in private, I was a abused online and called a psycho/b**ch/immature/breaking girl code," she posted.
"But when Ryan takes Angie away he's a gentleman who is only there for Angie and is more mature than everyone else …? I love the blatant double standards."
The post has attracted over 650 likes, with fans throwing their support behind the 24-year-old, urging her to "keep calling people out".
"I'm still annoyed at the amount of abuse that was hurled your way," one said.
"I got into arguments with workmates and friends who were saying things about you that were disgusting. I'm in awe at your confidence and hope more young women see you as an example to follow."
Responding to supporters, Abbie said she intends to write an article "detailing all the times the men in the Bachelorette have done the same things as me and been praised while I was villainised".
"Maybe I'll start a podcast about how mad I am lol xx," she added, later commenting: "You know this gonna be a hectic rant when it starts with 'within our patriarchal society …'"
Since her Bachelor season aired, Abbie has been outspoken on social media about the unwarranted backlash she's copped.
Immediately after the finale, she posted a lengthy rant slamming trolls for "slut-shaming".
"Things I got slut-shamed for on #thebachelorau: this bikini, my skort at hometowns, multiple cocktail party gowns, kissing matt 'without a date' and at a cocktail party (out of sight of anyone), pashing Matt in various locations with varying degrees of intensity, honestly admitting that I wanted to have sex with a man I was dating for 10 weeks and all around just 'using sexuality to manipulate Matt'," she wrote.
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Things I got slut shamed for on #thebachelorau: this bikini, my skort at hometowns, multiple cocktail party gowns, kissing matt 'without a date' and at a cocktail party (out of sight of anyone), pashing Matt in various locations with varying degrees of intensity, honestly admitting that I wanted to have sex with a man I was dating for 10 weeks and all around just "using sexuality to manipulate Matt". This is something I did not expect in 2019. Sex is essential to a successful relationship for me, as is sexual chemistry and the ability to express that comfortably with my partner. I saw commentary around my sexuality (rightly) calling out slut shaming and double standards regarding my pash sessions with Matt, with responses of "I'm not slut shaming her she is just manipulative/dumb/aggressive/only wanting sex". To insinuate that any relationship is less valid because of a strong physical connection is counterintuitive - the defining factor between a platonic and romantic relationship is physcial expressions of affection. I saw many comments about me having "nothing between my ears" or that I was "so insecure she can't talk to him so they just kiss". The public see ten minutes of a twelve hour date, it is insulting to both myself and Matt to assume he took me right until the end purely for a snog. I'd like those who think that I was manipulative to TRULY examine why you believe that. On most occasions, it comes down to a core belief that a woman who is "seducing" a man has ulterior motives, while a man doing the same is merely being romantic. If it isn't that, it is based off the opinion voiced of other contestants on the show, not my actions. I was always honest, authentic and expressive which can sometimes rub people the wrong way. It's okay to not like me - it is not okay to assume that I am less of a person or less worthy of love because I like to have sex and can talk freely and openly about it. Also MY LOVE LANGUAGES ARE PHYSICAL TOUCH AND QUALITY TIME LEAVE ME ALONE PLS
Posting a fiery response on Instagram, she begged people to "leave her in peace … for the sake of the mental health of the general public" who may read the comments and "internalise the views of others".
"Body shaming, Slut shaming, Sexism," she labelled the cruel words.
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Okay... I’ve wanted to go a week without a rant but this just never stops and if I see this behaviour and don’t call it out, I am complicit. Here are some photos that were taken of me a few weeks ago on a day at the beach. I was in new bikinis that I bloody love, I didn’t bother fake tanning the night before and I was just having a good fucking time. I look at these photos and think “doll, you should have gotten the Bondi sands out” but... it just looks like my normal body. Not going to frame these bad boys but I certainly didn’t cringe when I saw them. I was sent a link to a Daily Mail article with these photos. Out of curiosity, I looked at the comments. (Keep scrolling to see) and... Holy. Fucking. Shit. Body shaming, Slut shaming, Sexism. These comments don’t necessarily affect me, it sucks to read, but I remember that I am grateful for my body and all that it does for me, and I move on. What really concerns me is that people who aren’t as comfortable in themselves as I am will read this and internalise the views of others. I’m a size 8, I am the size that is SUPPOSED to be conventionally “attractive” (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN BUT OK). How the FUCK are people supposed to love themselves when people in the public eye of ALL sizes are being ridiculed for having normal bodies. I am at the end of my tether with this. STOP commenting on women’s bodies and debating whether or not we are ~allowed~ to wear bikinis. It isn’t your place. I’m a 24 year old who is healthy, happy and comfortable. Why does that irritate people? Let me live in my exercises-four-days-a-week-but-also-loves-carbonara rig and leave me in peace. Not for my sake, but for the sake of the mental health of the general public. Also, if you see this on the Internet or hear about it in person say something. I truly believe people feel it’s okay to say these things because they see others doing it and everyone around them remaining silent. Over it. I’ve lost sleep over this rage so I’m going to treat myself to another bikini that shows off my awful figure. 🖕🏻💅🏻 Ps follow @i_weigh for more body positivity ❤️
"I am at the end of my tether with this. STOP commenting on women's bodies and debating whether or not we are ~allowed~ to wear bikinis. It isn't your place. I'm a 24 year old who is healthy, happy and comfortable. Why does that irritate people?," she posed.
Abbie's latest rant comes amid several ex-reality TV contestants opening up about their mental health struggles this week in light of Seven's landmark workers compensation case.
Married At First Sight stars including Tracey Jewel and Davina Rankin have been outspoken about how online bullying has impacted their lives post-TV, adding that support from the Nine Network simply wasn't sufficient.
They have both expressed that they may consider taking legal action after House Rules contestant Nicole Prince made a successful claim against Seven for portraying her as the "villain" in 2017.