Catastrophic climate action narrowly avoided
AS EVERY right-thinking person knows, sustainability is the enemy of the people.
So it is with immense sense of relief I write that sanity has prevailed and the Adani coal mine has been given the Green light (oh, the irony) and coal will be spewing out of the Galilee Basin amidst a blizzard of 457 visas before you can say automated workforce.
It was a close call but as luck would have it Adani had Bill Shorten in their corner.
Imagine what would have happened if we had blocked the mine. The dominoes would have started falling thick and fast.
Next thing you know those Greenies in business would be backing climate science and a planned transition away from a carbon-based economy under the flimsy pretence of protecting their children's future and the need for stable and ethical business settings.
Deaf and blind kiddies and their guide dogs would be getting run over left, right and centre by all the electric cars they couldn't hear coming, not to mention all the poor superannuation funds and banks crying into their pillows over stranded assets like coal mines, power stations, drilling rigs, pipelines, loaders, ships and political parties.
We'd all get shouted down by tree huggers and forced to run everything on solar, wind and hydro.
Did you know solar power falls out of the sky just about for free? Literally no-one can own it and yet somehow everyone owns it.
Even people living in Donald Trump's shit-hole countries get a fair share of it.
That's right, solar power is socialist power.
What would happen if there were not a small group of corporations and families with a steady hand on the world's energy jugular vein - civilisation as we know it would collapse.
Think about the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences and the movie-going public.
All that good work we have done since World War I ensuring peace and stability in the Middle East would be undone.
The Sykes-Picot Agreement, the secret agreement Britain and France made carving up the Middle East, wouldn't be worth the paper it's written on and David Lean would never have made Lawrence of Arabia.
And spare a thought for all those majestic American Bald Eagles getting chopped up by wind turbine blades - like watching democracy get liquefied in a commie Nutri-Bullet.
If we really do want alternative power, the next logical step is nuclear.
Chernobyl and Fukushima helped iron out the kinks and minor teething problems around this wonderfully clean technology.
I'm sure sense will prevail and Australia will go on to develop the world's first nuclear powered coal mine. We could call it Cherdani or Fukudani as a tribute.