By ROBYN GRAY
Joy Vogel of Mullumbimby had no doubts until Monday that her daughter Moi (it means beautiful in Dutch) and her husband Christian would be found alive in Thailand after the tsunami devastated the beach where they were holidaying.
She said it with the conviction of her faith and her mother's instinct, to Northern Star journalists who spoke to her that day.
On Sunday night though, she said she felt a lead weight on her chest.
On Monday, her son Peter who along with his old school mates from Mullumbimby High School, brothers George and Louis Fallon, have been searching for Moi and Christian, phoned to tell his mother there was no where else he could look.
"I'm sorry Mum," were the words Peter whispered on the phone from Thailand.
"I've been cushioned by my faith - I am a Christian - and the support of friends, but now the reality is setting in," Joy said.
"I can't talk of Moi in the past tense."
On Tuesday NSW Police officers were due to take DNR samples from Ms Vogel and Moi's father at Tenterfield.
Her son was also due to return from his fruitless search, but it seemed as though bureaucratic procedures would be unlikely to allow his departure from Thailand.
Joy Vogel is now left wondering how she will deal with a death she is starting to accept as reality.
She waits for the phone, and she waits for the next TV news bulletin.
"I'm just scared of breaking into smithereens," she said.
"That's what I'm scared of now."
Moi, a television producer and hew new husband Christian Nott, of Pymble, were honeymooning on on the tourist isle and had announced on Christmas Day they were expecting their first child.
At Bangalow, Robin Dayman is also waiting.
Her daughter, son-in-law and grand daughter set off from their home in England on December 4 for a holiday in Thailand.
They were due to fly out yesterday, January 5.
Mrs Dayman has not spoken to them since just before they left England, and has no idea where they might be.
She emailed the British High
Commission who phoned to give her a contact in England, Scotland Yard.
She has provided details of her family and says she can do nothing until their departure time has passed.
"What can I do"?
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