SATIRE: Abbott thought payments were for budgie smugglers

A SOURCE within Tony Abbott's staff has confirmed the Prime Minister originally thought payments to criminal organisations were for "budgie smugglers".

The mistake came to light after Mr Abbott approached members of the press asking if his togs had arrived and if they'd seen his package.

The PM is now facing multiple inquiries into allegations his government had been funding people smugglers in an effort to stop the trade in human life.

Senior immigration policy advisor, Apah Tyed, responded to the claims saying they'd hoped "subsidising the industry would collapse it, like with coal and CSG".

"It's only with the benefit of hindsight that paying criminals to buy and sell humans a few countries over instead of here seems like a bad idea.

"The Coalition has always been the party of engaging in free-market economics and believe direct action is our best course for involvement."

Treasury projections indicate that ceasing the payments by August could end the budget crisis and put the national accounts back into the black by October.

Further revelations indicate the payments originated from the former Greens Government after the 2010 election.

Greens spokesperson Mara Joanna said the policy "simply followed the principle of paying people to change their behaviour, like with welfare and tax cuts."

Officials under the finance minister admit the payments had escaped notice as they'd originally thought the money was for MP travel expenses.

Notices:

This weekend's Isis community bake sale has been cancelled due to drone attacks.

Frisky Business is satire. It is not real. 

 


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