A great moment for democracy
A COLLECTIVE sigh of relief blew around the globe last week in the wake of the release of Michael Wolff's book Fire and Fury.
Finally, the great man was forced to come out and admit he is like, really smart and a genius of the most stable kind.
This is a great, great moment for democracy, the best really.
Used to be you had to be all 'experty' in your field, or invented something amaze-balls (like Sea Monkeys) or painted some crazy pictures or composed some boring classical music nobody even listens to to be a genius. Not any more.
Given the entry level for genius has been democratised downwards so emphatically many readers may be wondering, "Hey, can I be a genius too, or is it just for eggheads who paid attention at school?”
Here at the BSN (The Brainy Shire News) we've developed a handy 30-second genius detection quiz. Try it on the family, even your pets, they'll probably turn out to be geniuses as well.
1. How do you become a genius?
a. Pay attention in school, study hard, strive to achieve in your chose field, serve your country, create something unique and serve humanity.
b. Inherit a bunch of money then make friends with a whole lot of other people with a lot of money and do what they tell you.
2. How do you know when you have become a genius?
a. You win unsolicited praise from the rest of humanity.
b. You have the thought that you are a genius inside your head and then you talk that idea out of your head to the people so they can have it inside their heads too.
3. What are the rewards for being a genius?
a. You can make people's day-to-day lives better and help forge a better path for humanity.
b. You get to play golf whenever you want, you can grab girls on the p**sy and no one even cares, you can make up rules that make you and your friends even richer and no one even cares and every time you say something a whole bunch of people stand behind you and nod, no matter how stupid it is.
4. How do you know you are a stable genius?
a. You comport yourself with dignity, modesty and grace.
b. You don't fall over, even when you walk up the stairs to an aeroplane or a helicopter.
RESULTS: If you answered all 'a', even just one, you will never get elected to be the President of the United States of America, no matter how many times you try.
If you or your pets answered all 'b', congratulations. Mr Putin might let you be president of your country one day.