AFTER two hours of school holidays it had been established beyond all argument that my youngest suffers from what is termed in polite circles as "a low boredom threshold" or, as we like to call it, "holiday hypers".
This is a child who wants, expects, needs to be entertained, amused or occupied from sunrise to sunset. And all this recent wet weather combined with no school hasn't helped much.
"Mum, it's so boring, there's nothing to do."
Two minutes later and slightly louder. "Mum? Where are you? It's so boring, there's nothing to do. These holidays really suck."
More whining, a couple of drama queen sighs and the sound of something breaking and she has my attention.
"What is your problem?"
"I'm bored. There's nothing to do around here."
"Nothing to do around here? Are you kidding me? Take a look around - pick up a dust cloth or plug in the vacuum and knock yourself out."
"I don't want to dust or vacuum anything."
"No? Okay, no problem. I've got plenty more to choose from. Start with chucking on a load of washing, there are beds that need making, something sticky is stuck to the plate in the microwave that needs investigating and when you're done with that lot, feed the dog the leftovers from last night's Chinese takeaway - your father got number 24 again instead of number 26 so nobody ate much."
"Ha ha mum, you're hilarious."
"Should I take that as a no?"
I'll spare you the hissy fit details (both hers and mine) but needless to say the last words out of her mouth were, "I'm not doing housework and it's still really boring around here."
In desperation I suggested she "cook something".
"Yeah, apparently people actually cook for pleasure, haven't you seen My Kitchen Rules? Go on I dare you, go against your genetics and give it a whirl."
She approached the kitchen gingerly (her DNA probably screaming in her ear to "retreat") and grabbed one of only three cookbooks I own (all gifts over the years from clueless friends).
"Mum, what's devilled crab with Nicoise salad'?"
"Out of our league."
After dismissing more than half the recipes in the cookbook as "too hard, too yucky or too many ingredients" we agreed that she could make "crispy honey chicken" for dinner. I mean what could go wrong? Chicken is nature's wonder food. You can do anything to chicken (and believe me, in my kitchen, I have) and it still comes out tasting like chicken.
Surprisingly all was going relatively well until she got to the part in the recipe where it said, "Cook, uncovered, basting with the remaining sauce for 30 minutes or until leg moves freely." We read that bit a few times and finally agreed they were referring to the chicken leg.
Almost finished, she called me over again. This time the recipe said, "Let the chicken stand for 10 minutes before serving". She couldn't get it to stand but we figured letting it lean up casually against the side of the baking dish was close enough.
The dinner was fine. The fallout in the kitchen was a whole other story. In preparing one small chook my youngest had created a bomb site that would make Beirut proud.
As I waved my hands over the scene and asked "Well, what's happening with this mess?" she replied, "Mum, doing dishes is like, so boring."
School holidays or not, there's no arguing with that logic.
Quality vacant land is fast becoming scarce. Just listed is this ideal building block located in a central Ocean Shores position which is within easy access to...
Only 6 minutes drive to Bangalow, is this highly desirable hill top property - steeped in local history & being sold by genuine owners after 28 years! Do you...
Perfectly positioned in popular Lilli Pilli, this attractive home on a huge 1079m2 block is ideal for those seeking space, privacy and an indoor/outdoor...
Peacefully located in a quiet street in popular Byron Hills, this solid brick home backs on to bush land and is an ideal entry point to the Suffolk Park property...
Nestled in a wonderful beachside neighbourhood this delightful home brings together the rare combination of quality and lifestyle. * 3 light filled oversized...
Located in popular Beachside Suffolk Park, this solid double brick home is ideally situated only one block from the beach. With multiple living spaces, this home...
Commanding dress circle position in prestigious Prestons Lane, this ultra-private estate features 6.64 acres of immaculately landscaped low maintenance grounds and...
Positioned in a quiet and exclusive street with direct beach access just metres away, this property offers a brilliant lifestyle where a one minute walk will have...
"Taronga" is an elevated property capturing expansive rural and ocean views. Situated in a tightly held location surrounded by large rural holding, this home is...
Located in a highly desirable area of Byron Bay, this well built modern home is perfectly suited to spacious living and will be attractive to both families and...
Join the Community.
Get your local news, your way.
Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.